and I sit and wonder what it would be like to be able to wake up one morning and be gone. Vanish completely from the life I’ve always known and start up somewhere new, like Sweden or Laos or Peru. If I could get on a plane without saying goodbye and vanish from plain sight, without a whisper or note or a see you again soon. Maybe I could learn a new language, become a gaffer and live a quiet life in a small town. I could be mediocre.. and content with that, too. I could shut my eyes and ears to the world and live in silence and ignore any signs of this happening again until I die from smoking too much or eating too little or being too unwell. 

Maybe I should just sleep more, and dream less.